Emily Rose

This title sounds like a really low vibration, almost negative theme, for my peppy happy self, but I am not always happy and peppy, and this is a topic I recently experienced so I thought I would share it with you today. =] 

When I was a kid, the worst thing my mom could have said to me was “ I’m just disappointed”. Cue eyes filling with tears and a knife to the chest. It was the absolute WORST and it would wreck me every time. To this day, it’s the worst form of being reprimanded. 

But I don’t think I really understood what disappointment was or felt like until I was older. 

With everything that is happening in the world right, I asked my sister what I should be writing about and she replied, “something that really matters”. So this week I am going to write about what’s on my heart.

I got this question from a friend, “How do you stay motivated during these tough times?” and it kind of stumped me. I really had to think about it, because if I am being completely honest during this time there are more days that I feel UNmotivated than motivated. 

Like many of us, I am not immune to the fears and frustrations that this pandemic has brought upon us. It feels like one day I am mad, the next sad, then scared, then in a fog, I see a little sliver of hope or sunshine, and then I am back in my loop. I am not telling you this to feel bad for me because I do not have it bad at all. So many out there have it so much worse than me, and I pray for them every day. I am telling you this because it’s the truth, and everything going on has knocked me off my course a bit. 

I’ve got to be honest with you guys, I have not had an easy time with all of these changes the past couple of weeks. I have had A LOT of change happen in my life, and if I am being honest, I haven’t always had the best reactions to it. I went through at least 2 boxes of tissues from crying.  Had to drink Chamomile tea or take a melatonin vitamin to fall asleep because my heart wouldn’t stop racing.  I have even played out every single worst-case-scenario in my mind as if it’s already happening or it is “bound” to happen. 

I have been very focused on myself, and have not been the BEST at staying positive, seeing through the clouds, and knowing that the sun is shining on the other side of this. 

Then suddenly last week,  I was inspired.